Is how to bounce back like a mother f*cking champ!! From heartbreak to hangovers; I have my shape shifting down to a science. Almost. Until I do it all over again, snarf. Never-the-less, I bounce back because after the ride of life we MUST learn how to care for ourselves and be gentle.
So here are two things I’ve found myself in a LOT this year: hangovers and heartbreak.
From hangovers:
- First, you must teach your drunk self to start leaving 40 oz of water and two ibuprofen on your night stand. This, somehow, regardless of what I’ve been drinking, has become a habit. I will usually drink that much water before my feet hit the floor regardless of how much wine I’ve had. Or tequila if we’re being totally honest. Thank you, drunk self.
- You MUST remember that this rabbit hole of self loath and shame is only a few hours away from being over. It will end. Alcohol after all is a depressant. But first, you must know that this too shall pass. As soon as you kick it in the balls.
- Drink some juice, real natural juice from the vegetable itself. Your body is dying for some enzymes and vitamins. Feed it.
- Also feed it breakfast tacos. You really want to appease everything even if it’s your bad decision-making.
- Meditate. Meditation has been my gateway out of most horrible situations in life. Or just out of the mundane and into the peace. Meditate your way to victory (high fives self)!
- And always, always, always do something that makes you smile. Besides the breakfast tacos. Like a movie, or another glass of wine with someone you love (hair of the dog, anyone). Unless you have a drinking problem then maybe don’t have more alcohol. Instead drink a super white person coffee from Starbucks. (And do all of this outside if you can!!)
From heartbreak:
(How I’ve managed to fall in love so many times this year is beyond me yet somehow, the hangover/heartbreak always go hand in hand, funny ain’t it?)
- Oh boy, the morning after all the impending doom of letting down your defenses. On the one hand, yay, you’re capable of having great feelings and have determined that you are not, in fact, a robot. Remember that. On the other hand, “this” is probably not going to work for x y and z so you might as well go ahead and be sad about it NOW. This is something I do often. I also know that my feelings aren’t facts and who really knows what’s going to happen tomorrow?! But today, let’s just cry about it because today is really all that matters. Let yourself cry about it. Then laugh because you suddenly realize how ridiculous it all is. There is a such a fine line between laughter and tears, find it.
- Remove the shame of being vulnerable. Vulnerability = honey badgers. Honey badges don’t give a f*ck. So you’re in love, whoopee do, who isn’t. Being in love isn’t unique. We’ve all been in love and we’ve all been heartbroken. Trust me, when you’ve been hurt or left or kicked in the shins, 9 out of 10 people will sympathize with you. The one that doesn’t is the one who’ll end up on the news someday with a warrant out for his arrest. Own all your feelings, even the big scary ones.
- Meditate. FOR REALS. You’ll probably spend 20 minutes in a guided meditation thinking about the one person you shouldn’t be but just start. And breathe. Always always breathe. I like to think you’re always three deep breaths away from solving just about anything.
- If you happen to say, send a drunk text to the one person you shouldn’t be texting on a Saturday night, well girl, you gotta own it. Again, no shame. So you put yourself out there and felt the feelings and they weren’t reciprocated, oh well. At least you know and can put that little nugget to bed. And knowing is always half the battle.
- Immediately go on a date with someone else. And flirt. But still, stay off Tinder. You’re better than that.
- Write it out, talk it out, dance it, run it out, get it out. I write, obviously hello this is me getting over a broken heart! I also have great friends and a therapist. You need to get that stuff onto paper or in the universe and get it out of your body. Things manifest in your head into warped little creatures waiting to take you down. And they will. But you’re also a honey badger and better than that.
And remember, every day is a new day for new beginnings and favors from your drunk and/or highly emotional self.
Love! Death! GLITTER!!! 