Relationship PTSD

Here’s a short list of things that give me PTSD from my previous relationship:

1. Baseball hats specifically fan hats.  Sorry every man in america.
2. Polo shirts.  Sorry 80% of men in america. 
3. Burnt orange.  Sorry Austin, Texas.
4. Golf.
5. Soccer.
6. Germans.  Sorry 25% of Texas.
7. Crate & Barrel.  Please none of my friends soon to be married register there. 
8. Fake plants.
9. Multi-purpose greeting cards.
10. Groupons….for dates.